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Charlie Telphy
Charlie Telphy
NameCharlie Telphy
FamilyEustace Telphy (son)
Occupationaccount manager at Stevens and Lido
First EpisodeThe Nod
Number of Episodes14
Portayed byDeon Cole

Charles "Charlie" Telphy is one of Andre's co-workers. Charlie is portrayed by Deon Cole.

Charlie first appears on the show in episode three, "The Nod," as a new account manager at the firm of Stevens & Lido.

Family

After getting hit by a car and winning a large settlement, Charlie became "the breadwinner for my family at the age of 8." ("The Gift of Hunger")

Charlie has a son named Eustace whom he sometimes calls "Useless." ("The Nod") Charlie bought a jet ski in his son's name and ruined the child's credit. He then had to get rid of the jet ski because the manager of his building "said it was taking up too much room in the pool." ("The Peer-ent Trap")

Charlie states that he is going through a "pretty nasty divorce" after his wife cheated on him and then shot him. ("The Nod") He states that at one time his wife got pregnant accidentally, but it turned out that the baby wasn't his child. ("Sex, Lies and Vasectomies")

He has a brother who is "not gay or nothin'," but Charlie "was the best man at he and his lifelong roommate Gustavo's health insurance consolidation party last summer on Fire Island." ("Please Don't Ask, Please Don't Tell")

Though he denies having two families, Charlie has "two groups of people in two different parts of the country that I gots to love exactly the same" and needs "to have half my paycheck sent to a P.O. Box in Phoenix for unrelated reasons." ("Oedipal Triangle")

Friends

Charlie claims to know RuPaul, Barack Obama, Maya Angelou, Halle Berry, Andre 3000, Busta Rhymes, Mike Tyson, George Foreman III through VI, the "'the rent is too damn high' guy," Condoleezza Rice, and Michael Jordan. He calls Dionne Warwick a "wonderful woman" and a "generous lover." ("The Prank King")

On the Job

Prior to his employment at Stevens & Lido, Charlie worked for Starbucks in Washington. He credits his relocation and job change with saving his life after "a lot of bad stuff happened up there in Seattle." ("The Nod")

According to Andre, Charlie takes every other Monday off and calls it "Double Sunday." ("Switch Hitting")

In "Black Santa/White Christmas," Charlie suggests planting cocaine in a coworker's desk, but when he learns that one can be fired for having cocaine at work, he leaves the room to "go take care of something unrelated." Later in the episode, at the Stevens & Lido Christmas party, he announces, "What's that I hear? Sleigh bells, baby! Definitely not sirens, 'cause I got that stuff out my desk."

Medical History

Charlie once showed Andre and Rainbow JPEGS of his benign rectal polyps. ("The Nod")

He has been shot in both the face and the genitals, and if he had to choose which area to get shot in, he would "take face any day." As a result of this mishap, he has learned "never make yourself a grilled butter sandwich while cleaning your gun." ("Sex, Lies and Vasectomies")

He "had a botched circumcision a few years ago." ("The Real World")

He is allergic to peanuts. He keeps an EpiPen in his car, but his car was repossessed. ("The Real World")

Charlie doesn't have molars. As a result, "it's impossible for me to grind up food," and he has never eaten taffy. ("The Gift of Hunger")

Interests and Hobbies

Charlie likes the Dave Matthews Band. ("Elephant in the Room")

In reference to President Chester A. Arthur's reform of the Navy, he believes "that mess was off the chain." ("Black Santa/White Christmas")

He counts the grand opening of Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles as a black holiday. ("Martin Luther Skiing Day")

He wishes that there was a Black Jeopardy that would air after Black Wheel of Fortune but before The Black Blacklist. ("Martin Luther Skiing Day")

He considers both the movie Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star and hitchhiking "underrated." ("The Real World")

In the episode Andre From Marseille, Charlie asks Andre for $800, then inquires, "You ever lose your walk-around money at a cock fight?"

He puts hot sauce on Goldfish crackers and calls the snack "hot fish." ("Switch Hitting")

He plays on a "white-guy" basketball team and states that "these white guys are my hookup to things that brothers can't get -- nighttime dentists, hockey tickets, cure for AIDS, that black seat on the space ark when the world ends." ("30 Something")

Eccentricities

Charlie claims that he had never seen snow until a ski trip with the Johnson family. ("Martin Luther Skiing Day")

When pulled over by a police officer, Charlie ambiguously says, "I'm not going back" and later mutters, "I'm glad that cop didn't look in the trunk. Game over. Twenty to life." ("Martin Luther Skiing Day")

While at a ski lodge with the Johnsons, he puts on dress slacks to go skiing. He intends to tuck the pants into his socks but then realizes he forgot his socks. ("Martin Luther Skiing Day")

He attends a party at Andre and Rainbow's house in part because he had "been locked out of my house for a few days." He shows up at the 8:00 p.m. party at 6:30 after hitchhiking to the event. Partway through the gathering, he goes into the kitchen and begins cooking an omelet. ("The Real World")

According to Andre, Charlie lives in his car and even put a humidifier inside the vehicle. ("Switch Hitting")

He believes that drowning is one of the worst ways to die: "It goes fire, drowning... then bees." ("Please Don't Ask, Please Don't Tell")

He thinks that the cut-off age for leaving a child at a fire station under the baby safe haven law is 4-1/2 years old. ("The Gift of Hunger")

Appearances

Season 1

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